Returning to work after losing your baby might be one of the most impossible things you’re expected to do. And if you’re anything like me or the moms I work with, you’re probably thinking… How am I supposed to go back there? The last time you walked through those doors, you were carrying hope. A future. A whole identity.
Now you’re not even sure who you are anymore.
I’ve been there. After losing my twin daughters, I thought going back to work as a hairstylist would be comforting — a soft place to land surrounded by people who knew me and cared about me. But the reality was anything but soft. It was exhausting. It was invasive. And it left me questioning everything, including whether I could even do that job anymore.
And that’s what no one tells you: It’s not just about going back to work. It’s about going back to a version of yourself that no longer exists.
You’re Not Alone If You Feel This Way
Maybe you’re being told it’s time to go back — or maybe you want to, just to feel some sense of “normal.” But the truth is, nothing is normal anymore.
Your body is tired. Your brain is foggy. Your emotions are stretched so thin you feel like one wrong comment might break you.
So if you’re wondering how to go back — or if you should go back at all — I want you to know: it’s okay to question it. It’s okay to need more time. And it’s okay if your job doesn’t feel right anymore.
In fact, about 30% of women change their careers completely after baby loss. Not because they can’t handle their jobs — but because they have changed. You have changed. And you deserve the space to make new choices that align with who you are now.
So How Do You Know If You’re Ready?
Start with a check-in. Ask yourself:
- Does the thought of going back fill me with dread?
- Can I picture myself in that space without breaking down?
- Do I have the emotional and physical energy to make it through a workday?
If the answer is “no” — that doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. And grieving. And doing the best you can.
If you do have to go back (because sometimes we don’t have a choice), see if you can ease in. A phased return. A few hours a day. Some work-from-home days. Have someone at work who can be your advocate, who can set expectations before you even walk through the door.
And prepare for the moments that hurt: the pregnancy announcements, the coworker who didn’t know and asks about the baby, the person who says something well-meaning but cruel. Practice a few short, canned responses that protect your heart.
Because this isn’t about what they need — it’s about what you need to survive this.
You’re Allowed to Choose Differently Now
If your job no longer fits the woman you are becoming… that’s not a failure. That’s awareness. That’s courage.
Sometimes the most self-loving thing you can do is walk away from what no longer serves you — even if it once did.
You don’t have to rush into a decision. You don’t have to know all the answers. You just have to be honest about what feels possible today… and give yourself permission to figure out the rest one step at a time.
And if you need someone to talk to — someone who’s walked this road and understands the impossible choices — I’d love to offer you a free support call. We can talk through where you are, what you’re facing, and what might feel best as you navigate this transition.
Schedule your free call here: https://jennifersenn.com/support-call
You don’t have to do this alone.
