Hey there, I’m Jennifer Senn – a certified life coach, and married mama of two sons, twin Angel babies, and a rainbow baby. Today, I want to dive deep into why I started the Navigating Baby Loss podcast and share more about my personal journey.
The Birth of a Mission
I’ve been an avid podcast listener for years, and I’ve experienced firsthand how a message can reach you at exactly the moment you need it most. That’s the magic I hope to bring to you with this podcast. My mission is multifaceted:
- To shed light on the profound toll that stillbirth takes on women’s mental and physical health
- To provide inspiration, information, and hope to those navigating this difficult path
- To give you permission to live your life again, despite your loss
The Reality of Stillbirth Loss
Let’s be honest – stillbirth loss is incredibly lonely and isolating. Our society often pushes us to “move on” or “have another baby,” as if it’s that simple. But we know it’s not. If it were a traditional death, we’d be allowed to mourn openly, to remember our loved ones years later without discomfort. With stillbirth, it’s different. It’s treated as a taboo subject, and we’re often made to feel like we need to keep our feelings to ourselves to preserve everyone else’s comfort.
This podcast is my answer to that silence. It’s a safe space for us to talk about everything loss parents go through – the good, the bad, and the ugly. I called it “Navigating Baby Loss” because it truly is a lifelong journey. It never leaves you, and it shows up in every area of your life:
- Relationships suffer, including marriages and friendships
- Jealousy becomes a constant companion, especially when others announce pregnancies or show up with new babies
- Work life is affected, with focus and enthusiasm often taking a hit
My Story
Now, let me share more about my personal journey. My husband and I had been married for nine years and had two little boys, aged two and five, when I found out I was pregnant again. During that first sonogram, I knew something was different. The doctor confirmed my suspicion – we were having twins!
The news was overwhelming at first. We already had two busy little boys, and suddenly we were preparing for two more. But we adjusted, and soon we couldn’t imagine our lives any other way. We started preparing for their possible early arrival, as is common with twins.
Everything was progressing well. At my 32-week appointment on a Tuesday, the doctor told me I had a textbook twin pregnancy. We were working on the nursery, getting everything ready. But that weekend, I didn’t feel great. I chalked it up to the babies getting bigger and space getting tighter.
The Devastating Discovery
On Monday morning, I woke up and didn’t feel any movement. With two babies and being so far along, I had a good sense of their personalities – who moved when, who had hiccups more often, who rolled more. The silence was alarming.
I tried all the usual tricks – orange juice, lying down, all the wake-up techniques. But that feeling of dread wouldn’t go away. I called my doctor and drove myself in. What followed was a blur of sonogram technicians, until finally, the doctor came in.
We were sent to the hospital for a higher-level sonogram. My husband, a physician assistant working in the ER that day, met me there. That’s where we received the official news that shattered our world – our dream of a perfect family with two boys and two girls was over.
The Aftermath
We were given the option to stay at the hospital or go home and return the next day for induction. I chose to go home, wanting one last night with our boys and to talk to our families, even though it was terrible knowing our babies were gone.
The next three days were a blur of induction attempts, with my husband tirelessly by my side and family members coming and going, everyone unsure of what to say. Finally, on the third day, I knew I’d had enough, and we proceeded with a C-section late at night.
We left the hospital empty-handed, planned a funeral, and bought burial plots. And then came the haunting question: What now?
The Journey to Healing
I truly believed my life was over. I thought I’d never feel happiness again, and if I did, it would mean I wasn’t a good mother to my angels. I imagined the rest of my life would be just going through the motions until I could be reunited with them.
But that was just the beginning of my journey. Over time, I learned to navigate my own path to healing. I even welcomed a rainbow baby daughter later on (a story I’ll share another time). Through it all, I’ve learned that while our stories may be different, our ending is the same – none of us get to raise our babies.
Why This Podcast Matters
If you’re on this journey too, I want you to know that you’re not alone. There’s a beautiful, full life even after loss – I promise. It takes time, compassion for yourself, and allowing the grieving process to unfold in its own way.
In this podcast, we’ll cover all the topics that relate to what parents who have experienced loss need and face. We’ll discuss:
- How to quiet your mind
- Releasing guilt
- Getting back on the same page with your partner when you’re grieving differently
- Tools to help in your grief journey
I’ll bring in experts from my network to share their wisdom and inspiration. As a pregnancy loss recovery coach and a bereaved mother myself, I’m here to talk openly, honestly, and raw about my experiences and what I’ve learned along the way.
Remember, whether your loss happened yesterday or 50 years ago, I’m here to bring you inspiration, hope, and comfort. We’ll share our stories, honor the gifts our babies’ short lives brought us, and navigate this journey together.
I encourage you to let me know what topics you’d like covered. You can find more resources and show notes on my website at Jennifersenn.com, where you can also schedule a complimentary Support Call.
New episodes will be released weekly on Thursdays. I’d be so grateful if you’d subscribe to the podcast and leave a review to help other loss parents find us.
Until next time, I’m sending you so much love and healing. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.
