Pregnancy loss is a deeply personal and often misunderstood experience. In a recent interview on the Navigating Baby Loss podcast, Patty Cuevas, a mental health professional and Christian podcaster, shared her journey through loss and healing. Her story offers valuable insights for those grappling with grief and faith after losing a baby.
Patty’s Story
In early 2015, Patty and her husband were thrilled to learn they were expecting their first child. However, at nine weeks, Patty experienced a miscarriage. The physical and emotional pain was intense, compounded by a lack of proper medical guidance and societal expectations to quickly move on.
Dealing with Unprocessed Grief
As a graduate student in psychology at the time, Patty found herself pushing through her grief to meet academic and professional obligations. She emphasizes the importance of taking time to process loss, warning that unprocessed grief can exacerbate existing mental health issues and affect various aspects of life.
Faith and Loss
Patty’s faith was tested during this time. She experienced anger towards God, questioning why she was given a baby only to have it taken away. Through honest conversations with God and a powerful dream of holding her baby girl, Patty found a way to reconcile her faith with her loss.
Coping Strategies
- Seek professional help: Patty recommends working with a therapist or coach specializing in pregnancy loss.
- Be honest with your feelings: It’s okay to be angry or question your faith.
- Take time for yourself: Don’t rush back into normal routines if you’re not ready.
- Find meaningful ways to honor your baby: This can help in the healing process.
- Communicate with your partner: Remember they’re grieving too, albeit differently.
The Impact of Loss
While Patty would never have chosen this path, she acknowledges that her experience has made her more empathetic and a better clinician. She believes her baby’s loss gave her life fuller meaning and helps her connect with others who are suffering.
Dealing with Jealousy and Social Situations
Patty found it challenging to be around other pregnant women or attend baby-related events. She advises setting boundaries and prioritizing your emotional well-being, even if it means declining invitations.
A Message of Hope
While the journey through grief is personal and takes time, Patty’s story shows that healing is possible. She encourages women to process their grief in ways that bring them peace, whether through faith, helping others, or simply taking time for themselves.
If you’re struggling with pregnancy loss, remember you’re not alone. Reach out for support, be kind to yourself, and know that it’s okay to grieve in your own way and time.
For more support and information, you can find Patty’s podcast, “Listen Bella,” on major podcast platforms, visit her website at https://dpatcue.wixsite.com/coachpattycuevas-1 and join her Facebook community group. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call the suicide prevention number: 988.
Remember, your feelings are valid, and there is hope and support available on this journey of healing.
Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
