Shame is a powerful emotion that many women experience after pregnancy loss. In a recent interview, mental health therapist Kira shared valuable insights on understanding and addressing shame in the context of baby loss. Here are the key takeaways:
Understanding Shame vs. Guilt
Kira explains that while guilt is about feeling like you did something wrong, shame is the belief that you are fundamentally flawed or broken. For many women who experience pregnancy loss, shame stems from the feeling that their body has failed at its “primary function.”
The Impact of Shame
When left unaddressed, shame can have far-reaching consequences:
- It can affect future pregnancies and parenting
- It may strain relationships, including marriages
- It can lead to isolation and difficulty in seeking support
Breaking the Cycle of Shame
Kira offers several strategies for addressing shame:
- Talk about it: The most crucial step is to voice your feelings. Shame thrives in silence, so speaking up can help break its power.
- Recognize cognitive distortions: Learn to identify skewed perceptions that fuel shame.
- Practice self-forgiveness and radical acceptance: Work on accepting what you can’t control and focus on what you can.
- Find a supportive circle: Surround yourself with people who won’t impose timelines on your grief or shame.
- Allow yourself to feel: Give yourself permission to experience all emotions without judgment.
The Importance of Addressing Shame
Kira emphasizes that dealing with shame is a lifelong process, not a task to be completed. The goal is to develop resilience and tools to manage shame when it arises.
Remember, every person experiences shame, regardless of their experiences with loss. By talking about it and seeking support, we can begin to heal and break the cycle of shame.
If you’re struggling with shame after pregnancy loss, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to a mental health professional or support group to start your healing journey.
Learn more about Kyira at www.adversityrising.com
Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
