Grief is a universal human experience, yet it’s deeply personal and often misunderstood. Recently, I had the privilege of speaking with Dr. Heather Browne, a psychotherapist specializing in grief, loss, and relationships. Her insights, shaped by both professional expertise and personal experience, offer valuable guidance for those navigating the complex terrain of loss.
Dr. Browne’s Journey
Dr. Browne’s path to becoming a grief specialist was paved with personal tragedy. At 16, she lost her mother to suicide and her best friend to murder. Later in life, she experienced a miscarriage and became a widow. These profound losses shaped her understanding of grief and her approach to helping others.
Key Insights on Grief
- Grief is individual: There’s no “right” way to grieve. Honor your own process and needs.
- The importance of fully experiencing grief: Dr. Browne emphasizes the need to “walk through grief” rather than trying to bypass it.
- Finding joy after loss: It’s okay – and important – to experience moments of happiness, even while grieving.
- Reframing loss: Instead of focusing solely on what’s been lost, try to appreciate the time you had with your loved one.
- Physical and emotional needs: Grief has both physical and emotional components. Pay attention to both aspects of healing.
Navigating Relationships During Grief
One of the most challenging aspects of loss can be its impact on relationships, especially between partners. Dr. Browne offers these insights:
- Recognize that people grieve differently: Partners may have very different needs and ways of expressing grief.
- Communicate openly: Discuss how you can support each other, even if your grieving styles differ.
- Seek outside support: It’s okay (and often necessary) to lean on friends, family, or professionals for additional support.
- Be patient with yourself and your partner: Healing takes time, and the process isn’t linear.
Practical Advice for Grieving
- Identify what you need: Do you need comfort or release? Honor that need.
- Accept help: Say yes to offers of support, even if you don’t feel you need them in the moment.
- Find healthy outlets: This might be talking, crying, physical activity, or creative expression.
- Consider professional help: Therapy or grief counseling can be invaluable, especially if you’re struggling to cope.
- Create rituals or ceremonies: These can help honor your loved one and process your grief.
A Message of Hope
While Dr. Browne doesn’t sugarcoat the pain of loss, she offers a powerful perspective: those who have experienced deep loss have the capacity to love even more deeply. This isn’t to say grief is a “gift,” but rather that it’s possible to choose to use the experience as a way to open your heart further.
Remember, there’s no timeline for grief. Be patient with yourself, seek support when you need it, and know that while the pain may never completely disappear, it is possible to find joy and meaning in life again.
For more resources and support, visit Dr. Heather Browne’s website at www.drheatherbrowne.com.
Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
