Losing a baby is an experience that impacts us not just emotionally, but physically as well. Many mothers struggle with feelings of anger and betrayal towards their own bodies after pregnancy loss. In this post, we’ll explore these complex emotions and discuss ways to work towards forgiving and reconnecting with your body.
The Anger and Disappointment
After losing my twins to stillbirth, I felt an overwhelming sense of anger towards my body. I had done everything right – eaten well, taken prenatal vitamins – yet my body had failed to do what it was “designed” to do. This anger is a common experience for many loss mothers, often accompanied by feelings of guilt and betrayal.
The Physical Aftermath
The physical changes that occur after pregnancy loss can be particularly challenging. Your body continues to exhibit signs of pregnancy even though your baby is gone. This disconnect can lead to feelings of disgust, shame, and a negative body image.
The Struggle with Body Image
Many women feel conflicted about their postpartum bodies after loss. There’s often a desire to “bounce back,” yet also a reluctance to let go of the physical evidence of pregnancy. Well-meaning comments from others about your appearance can further complicate these feelings.
Steps Towards Forgiveness and Healing
a) Trust Your Body: Remember that your body did its best. It’s not a failure; it’s a vessel that has carried you through many experiences.
b) Care for Your Body: Start with the basics – hydration, nutrition, and gentle movement. These acts of self-care can be the first steps towards healing.
c) Positive Self-Talk: Work on changing negative thoughts about your body to more positive, appreciative ones. This shift in perspective can greatly impact your self-confidence.
d) Consider Bereavement Pumping: For some mothers, donating breast milk can be a healing way to honor their baby and make peace with their body’s changes.
e) Find Your Support System: Connect with other loss parents who understand your experience. Join supportive communities, but be mindful to avoid those that dwell in negativity.
The Mirror Exercise
A powerful exercise in body acceptance involves looking at yourself naked in a mirror. First, notice your perceived flaws. Then, look again and acknowledge all the amazing things your body has done and survived. This can be an emotional but transformative experience.
Forgiveness as a Gift to Yourself
Remember that forgiving your body is a gift you give to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one going through a similar experience.
The journey to forgiving your body after baby loss is not easy or linear. It takes time, patience, and conscious effort. But by working towards this forgiveness, you open the door to healing and a renewed relationship with your body.
Remember, you are strong, you are resilient, and you deserve to feel at peace in your own skin. Your body has carried you through the unthinkable, and it deserves your love and appreciation.
For more information or to connect and schedule a complimentary Support Call, visit jennifersenn.com
