In a heartfelt interview, we spoke with Mary Matt who experienced the unimaginable – losing one of her twin boys halfway through her pregnancy while carrying both to term. Her story is one of resilience, love, and finding purpose through profound loss.
The Unexpected Journey
After experiencing secondary infertility and two miscarriages, this mother was overjoyed to learn she was pregnant with twins. However, at 21 weeks, an ultrasound revealed that one of the twins, Maverick, no longer had a heartbeat. Despite this devastating news, she had to continue carrying both babies for several more months.
Navigating Grief While Pregnant
The challenge of grieving one child while trying to stay healthy and positive for the other was immense. She describes it as an “emotional rollercoaster,” knowing she was “carrying both life and death simultaneously.” Rather than hide her experience, she chose to be open about it, using it as an opportunity to educate others and advocate for grieving parents.
Family Impact
Sharing the news with her 13-year-old son was difficult but became a teachable moment about faith, resilience, and the unpredictability of life. Initially struggling with his mother’s openness about the loss, her son has since become a “champion” for his deceased brother, often mentioning him and finding ways to remember him.
Mary’s husband faced his own challenges, dealing with the stress of potentially losing his wife or surviving son while grieving Maverick. Their different grieving styles required open communication and patience with each other.
Welcoming Erixon
Despite the loss, the birth of Erixon, the surviving twin, brought joy and hope. Mary describes a special bond with Erixon due to their shared experience. She’s conscious of his status as a twinless twin and is committed to supporting him through any challenges this might bring as he grows.
Finding Meaning and Moving Forward
The loss of Maverick has prompted significant changes in the family’s life. They plan to celebrate Maverick’s life by releasing lanterns at a state line as they move to a new state – a transition they’ve been considering for years but only now feel ready to make. Mary sees Maverick as “the catalyst of change and growth” in their lives.
She’s also found purpose in sharing her story on Instagram, connecting with other loss parents and twinless twin families. Her goal is to create a space where no one feels alone in their grief and where babies like Maverick are remembered and celebrated.
Mary’s story is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of love and loss. It highlights the importance of open communication, both within families and in society at large, about pregnancy and infant loss. Through her courage in sharing her experience, she’s not only honoring Maverick’s memory but also providing comfort and support to others on similar journeys.
Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
