In a world where discussing pregnancy and infant loss remains taboo, Christine Davies, a hospital chaplain and spiritual director, sheds light on the importance of supporting parents through their darkest moments. Her work involves creating meaningful rituals and offering spiritual guidance to those experiencing perinatal loss.
The Power of Ritual
Christine emphasizes the significance of honoring the brief life of a baby who has passed. She creates simple yet profound rituals that include:
- Asking about the baby’s name and its meaning
- Using the baby’s name throughout the interaction
- Commenting on the baby’s appearance
- Offering prayers or blessings based on the family’s beliefs
- Acknowledging the strength needed for the journey ahead
These rituals provide a sacred space for parents to connect with their child and begin processing their grief.
Addressing Spiritual Distress
Christine defines spirituality as the connection with oneself, others, and the divine. Perinatal loss can disrupt these connections, leading to spiritual distress. She helps individuals navigate this by:
- Allowing space for questioning and lament
- Exploring personal beliefs about faith and suffering
- Addressing feelings of guilt and self-blame
- Facilitating reconciliation with anger towards God or the universe
The Importance of Presence
While many struggle with what to say to grieving parents, Christine emphasizes the power of presence. She advises against using religious platitudes or trying to “fix” the situation. Instead, she recommends:
- Listening without judgment
- Offering specific, practical help
- Being comfortable with silence
- Acknowledging the pain without minimizing it
Normalizing Grief and Loss
Through her writing and work, Christine aims to normalize conversations about grief, loss, and suffering. She believes that by sharing stories and providing resources, we can better support those experiencing perinatal loss and create a more compassionate society.
As we approach Mother’s Day, Christine reminds us of the complexities surrounding this holiday for those who have experienced loss. Her upcoming article on the subject promises to offer insight and comfort to those navigating this difficult terrain.
For those seeking support or looking to better understand perinatal loss, Christine’s website (ChristineVDavies.com) and newsletter “Journeying Alongside” offer valuable resources and perspectives.
In the end, Christine’s work reminds us of the profound impact we can have by simply being present, listening, and honoring the lives of babies gone too soon.
Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
