76: Honoring Your Angel: The Delicate Decision of Reusing a Lost Child’s Name

When expecting a rainbow baby, parents often grapple with a deeply personal question: Should we reuse our angel baby’s name? This decision carries emotional weight and requires careful consideration. Let’s explore the pros, cons, and alternatives to help you navigate this sensitive choice.

The Emotional Impact of Name Reuse

Reusing a lost child’s name can be a beautiful way to honor their memory. It fulfills a long-held dream and maintains a spiritual connection. However, it’s crucial to consider the potential impact on your rainbow baby and your family.

Pros of Reusing the Name:

1. Honors the lost child’s memory
2. Fulfills the desire to use a cherished name
3. Carries on a family tradition
4. Maintains a spiritual connection

Cons to Consider:

1. May place undue expectations on the new baby
2. This could make it difficult to separate identities
3. Might affect relationships with extended family
4. Potential impact on siblings

Alternatives to Consider

If you’re unsure about reusing the exact name, consider these alternatives:

1. Use the lost child’s name as a middle name
2. Choose a name with a similar meaning
3. Find other ways to honor your angel baby (e.g., foundations, memorials)

Making Your Decision

Remember, there’s no right or wrong answer. Here are steps to help you decide:

1. Have open, honest discussions with your partner
2. Try out the name and gauge your feelings
3. Consider the impact on all family members
4. Take your time – you have months to decide
5. Be open to changing your mind

Moving Forward

Whatever you decide, be prepared to explain your choice confidently. This is a personal decision, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Trust your instincts and choose what feels right for your family.

Remember, there are many ways to honor your angel baby. Whether through a name, a charity, or a private ritual, your love for your lost child will always be a part of your family’s story.

By approaching this decision with thoughtfulness and love, you’re honoring both your angel baby and your rainbow baby in a way that’s unique to your family’s journey.

Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at  jennifersenn.com.