Struggling with Physical as well as emotional challenges is common after experiencing a stillbirth. If you’ve been struggling with these feelings, know that you are not alone, and these experiences are part of the healing process.
The Unexpected Physical Reminders
The physical aftermath of baby loss can be a painful reminder of what was supposed to be. You might find yourself dealing with the reality of your milk coming in without a baby to feed, seeing the stretch marks that once symbolized growth and anticipation, or carrying extra weight that now feels misplaced. If you had your baby in your arms, these might be marks of pride or joy. But when you don’t, it feels like an added wound—an unwelcome reminder of what didn’t come to be.
It’s natural to feel betrayed by your own body. For many of us, there was confidence that our bodies were designed for this—the miracle of creating and bringing life into the world. And while your body may have carried life, the conclusion did not match your hopes. This realization can leave you feeling disconnected, disappointed, and even angry at the body you once trusted without question.
The Sense of Betrayal
One of the most difficult feelings to navigate after loss is the sense of betrayal. You may be thinking, “I trusted my body to do this one natural thing, and it didn’t.” It’s easy to wonder how your body could have nurtured your baby only to stop short of bringing them safely into your arms. This thought alone can lead to resentment, and for those who were confident in their bodies before, this feeling can be very unsettling. If you struggled with body confidence before your pregnancy, this can be an extra layer of pain, making the distrust and anger even more present.
It’s important to acknowledge these feelings as normal. It’s okay to feel like your body has let you down. If this is something you’ve been wrestling with in silence, let this be your reminder that you’re not alone and these feelings are part of healing.
Recognizing What Your Body Did Do
When emotions run high, and grief feels overwhelming, it may seem impossible to view your body with any kindness. But, what if, even for a moment, you could acknowledge what your body did do? Despite the outcome, your body carried life. It created and nurtured your baby as long as it could. That is not insignificant.
Perhaps your body gave you the strength to go through labor, a C-section, or the process of delivery. Maybe it did everything possible to bring your baby to you, even if you couldn’t bring them home. While this doesn’t minimize the pain, taking a step back to recognize your body’s efforts can start to shift how you view it. For many women, this is where healing begins—when they start to see the bigger picture of what their body endured and accomplished.
Reconnecting with Your Body
After loss, feeling disconnected from your body is common. You might avoid mirrors, lose interest in self-care, or stop exercising. This disconnect can feel like a form of self-preservation—removing yourself from the thing that feels like it betrayed you. But ignoring your body can lead to more emotional pain and deepen the anger toward it.
Reconnection starts with small acts. Begin by drinking water throughout the day. It sounds simple, but grief takes a toll on your body, and staying hydrated can support physical and emotional recovery. Taking a short walk outside can also be grounding. Nature has a way of reminding us that while our world may feel like it’s stopped, life continues, and we can move forward too.
You might be thinking, “I don’t want to reconnect with my body. It let me down.” That’s okay to feel, but remind yourself that your body is also in survival mode, just like you. It’s processing hormonal shifts and trying to adjust to a reality that is different from what it prepared for. Give it time and compassion.
The Role of Hormones
Hormones after a baby loss can be overwhelming. They may cause sudden, uncontrollable crying, deep sadness, or anger. Your body’s physical and emotional responses can feel out of sync. Understand that this is your body’s way of processing, adjusting, and catching up with the loss. It takes time for these hormones to stabilize, and your cycle may change. Be patient and compassionate as your body continues to send signals and adapt to this new normal.
Moving Forward with Compassion
Your healing journey is unique, and small steps can make a significant impact. Maybe you’ll start to see your body in a new way, not just as something that failed you but as something that carried and protected life as best it could. Recognize that healing isn’t about perfection or having everything figured out. It’s about showing up for yourself and your body, one step at a time.
If you’re struggling with anger toward your body or if you’re harming it in any way, please seek help. There’s no shame in needing support; sometimes, we all need someone to help us find our way back to compassion.
You’re Not Alone
I hope this post has given you some comfort and reassurance, and maybe even given words to feelings you haven’t been able to express. It’s difficult to talk about body image after baby loss, especially when those around you may not understand. But remember, your body is doing its best, and so are you.
Visit my website for free resources and support, and don’t hesitate to schedule a call with me. You don’t have to go through this alone. Jennifer Senn is a certified life coach who is also a bereaved mom of twin girls born at 32 weeks. She helps stillbirth moms let go of guilt, process their grief, and figure out what’s next for their future. You can learn more about her and schedule a free support session at jennifersenn.com.
